FORGET ABOUT YOUR PASSPORT PHOTO. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF ON ZOOM LATELY??

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.” ~ Unknown

Several years ago and before Al Gore invented the Internet, the writer and humorist, Erma Bombeck, titled one of her many books “When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It’s Time to Go Home.”

In the current high-tech, COVID era in which we now live, where we must stay home to be kept gainfully employed, I would advise that you stick to telephone conferencing and forego Zoom altogether in order to maintain a good self-image, especially if you are “of a certain age.”

If that’s not feasible and you need to attend a Zoom meeting upon penalty of being fired, I suggest that you:

(1) sit as far back from the camera as possible;

(2) have makeup professionally applied;

(3) ensure the lighting is dimmed in the room (stay away from harsh sunlight and bright light fixtures);

(4) keep head raised to tighten flabby neck muscles and stretch neck wrinkles (do not, I repeat, do not nod your head up and down when answering a “yes” question);

(5) smile constantly, which will camouflage the deep laugh lines around your mouth; and

(6) wear stylish sunglasses to hide crow’s feet (explaining to your fellow Zoomers that you have a serious and very gross eye condition).

Number 6 above will probably only work for one or two meetings but get creative.

Or, you can schedule an appointment with your friendly and, hopefully, skilled plastic surgeon. Just remember the adage, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”

Let me know if you have other suggestions.

I would very much like to hear from you. Please leave a comment.

Published by Another Sufferer

I am a woman over 65 who has experienced the many changes that happen to a woman's body and mind as they get older. I started this blog in order to share information and experiences.

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